Well it’s been a bit, a long road traveled, but we have finally made it back home.
We left Michigan almost 2 weeks ago. It seems so much longer than that already but no. We had moved back there 18 months ago trying to make a home and trying to regather our family together. Don’t get me wrong, I love Michigan I do. I was born and raised there. I lived over 50 years there. My brothers are there, and daughter and granddaughters too. We tried to make it feel like home. We bought a really nice old farmhouse in a big city to try to make it feel like home. It just didn’t feel like it to us.
Maybe it was the being too far from the kids. Maybe it was being separated by distance from my brothers and family. Distance not just in miles but relationship. I love my brothers so much. They are one of the reasons we moved back to Michigan. I had hoped to build a relationship with them again, but sadly I couldnt . I still feel distance with us.
Life sometimes has a way of twisting and turning our lives that sometimes fractures our relationship with family. I am sure the fractures are mostly my fault and it is burden I carry everyday. I feel guilty, I’ve offered apologies and I’ve asked forgiveness. I can do no more but the guilt still lies in my heart.
We tried to make Michigan home again with family, with us and a different home. I loved the home we choose. It was beautiful, welcoming and cozy. It was just in a wrong area, a much too big city for us. It was much too far from family. We felt like we had been living alone there. Perhaps we had been away from family too long to remember what family felt like. The husband wasn’t happy in the snowy north, I wasn’t nearly as happy as I thought I would be. I had been fooling myself I guess thinking all would be bliss if we just moved back.
So here we are again, in what now does feel like home. We are back in Florida. We lived here for 7 years the first time. This is where my dearest friends are. This is where tragedy struck and I lost my relationship with God for a bit when it happened. This is where God never gave up on me and helped me to find my church home and church family, and now my even closer walk with him now. This is where I found my purpose, my work for Him. This is where I found my happiness. It’s everywhere I look around me.
In Michigan, I thought happiness would find me, but it didn’t. I have learned that I can’t expect others or things to make me happy. I can choose to be happy or miserable. In Michigan I think I just never chose to be happy. I felt unappy and lonely and separated not just from family but God. I just couldn’t seem to find my relationship with my God in Michigan because I was miserable. But if I am honest, I wasn’t really looking. I was just wanting it to come find me!!
But now we feel like we are back home. Hubby is happy, puppies are happy in this warm almost always sunny weather. I feel so much lighter. Happy, relaxed and blessed. We have found a new home. We will close on it soon. We loved that home that was so cozy. This new home just happens to be almost a carbon copy of our last home here before we moved. It is in a beautiful old small trailer park that is cozy, quiet and feels just right. We are so delighted to finally be back home. God is so good. I fell like, I hope that HE is smiling down on us and telling us to be content. I know his plan is perfect and I know his timing is always true. I just have to remember to let him in, listen for his whispers and trust him to always take care of me like he always does. He has given me so many life lessons, he has never failed me and he is always by my side.
That’s all for today. I hope wherever you are you are happy and blessed. Take care. Trudy